Barack Obama Funny Quotes - Page 3
"They say I need to be seasoned; they say I need to be stewed. They say, 'We need to boil all the hope out of him , like us, and then he'll be ready.'"
—Barack Obama speaking about his detractors
"Three words: Vice President Oprah"
—Barack Obama on the David Letterman show revealing the #1 item from his fictional, humorous, Top Ten Campaign Promises
"Well, if you've got book sales of 25 million..."
—Barack Obama responding to Rev. Rick Warren, best-selling author of "The Purpose-Driven Life," when asked to define "rich."
"Well, President Bush said he wanted to export American-style democracy and, by God, I think it's working."
—Barack Obama on the dubious Ukraine election.
"Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for 'That One.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome."
—Barack Obama at the Al Smith Dinner
"Yesterday, John McCain actually said that if he's president that he'll take on, and I quote, 'the old boys network in Washington.' Now I'm not making this up. This is somebody who's been in Congress for twenty-six years, who put seven of the most powerful Washington lobbyists in charge of his campaign. And now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna' to take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come, on!"
—Barack Obama
"You notice that people who've been in Washington too long, they don't talk like ordinary folks,. We had this debate in Las Vegas, and somebody asked me, What are your weaknesses?' So I said, Well, you know, I don't keep track of paper that well, I'm always losing paper, my desk is a mess.' And then they asked the next two candidates. And one candidate says, Well, my biggest weakness is I'm just so passionate about helping poor people.' And then the other one says, I'm just so impatient to help the American people solve their problems.' So then I realize well, I wish I'd gone last and then I would have known.. I'm stupid that way, I thought that when they asked what your biggest weakness was, they asked what your biggest weakness was. And now I know that my biggest weakness is I like to help old ladies across the street."
—Barack Obama
I initially said, "We coach Little League in the blue states and we have some gay friends in the red states": "Well, here's an update. Since the election, that gay couple I knew in the red states? They've moved back to the blue states."
—Barack Obama with an update from his Democratic Convention speech.
Funny Barack Obama Quotes: