Funny Graduation Quotes - Page 2

If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.
        — Robert Goheen

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
        — Theodore Roosevelt

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
        — W.H. Auden

Study hard, and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make as much money as your dog.
        — George Bush, (41st US president in a speech in 1992, to graduates after learning Millie, his dog, made $889,176 in book royalties.)

It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days.
        — Isabel Waxman

There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning.
        — Orrin Hatch

...Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional.
        — Bob Bickford

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.
        — Russell Green

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
        — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
        — Erma Bombeck

Words of Wisdom:

  • It does not matter who curse the neighbor, where we admire ourselves.
  • Theology is the thought applied to religion, and those who prefer a religion without thought need not dismiss those with tastes more rationalistic.
  • Humility is a virtue so practical, that men appear to be a vice.
  • Enter the realm of facts is to enter the world of limits. Things can emancipate themselves from certain laws accidental or catchy, but can not escape the laws of nature. It can deliver a tiger from its cage, but not their spotty skin.
  • It must be presumed that combines everything that there are many things of all kinds, and seeds of all things, which have different forms and colors and flavors.
  • They cling to their opinion, not true but for yours.
  • Mercy is an integral part of justice.
  • The pantheist is an atheist in disguise of God.
  • The best way to race is to convey to others the impression that help would be very beneficial for them.
  • Incompetence is the more damaging the greater the power of jurisdiction.