Funny Quotes - The World's Funniest - Page 4

You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat.
        —Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

You had me at "hello."
        —Jerry Maguire

You even called me stupid in your verse, and I'm almost agreeing, for where stupidity is involved, you are quite an expert, friend.
        —Franz Grillparzer

You don't understand!
I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
        —On The Waterfront

You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.
        —Gerald Barzan

You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership.
        —Dwight Eisenhower

You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
        —Bonnie Prudden

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
        —Melanie Clark

You can't have everything... where would you put it?
        —Steven Wright

You can't handle the truth!
        —A Few Good Men

Words of Wisdom:

• Nobody can be happy if you do not appreciate yourself.
• If money does not return it gives you happiness.
• Ask yourself if you're happy and you will no longer be.
• There is no duty so as to neglect the duty of being happy.
• Any man can be happy with a woman, as long as they do not love
• Everything in life is supported, except for a few days of continued happiness.
• Happy people have no history.
• Happiness lies more with the poor that has enough to consider that the rich, who never believes he has enough.
• Drink because you are happy, but never because you may be unhappy.
• Happiness lies, first, on health.