Funny Quotes about Crime
You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
— Al Capone
We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them.
— Allen Tucker
Stop Dieting — Start Eating — Start Living!
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business.
— Will Rogers
There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move.
— David Letterman
The thief. Once committed beyond a certain point he should not worry himself too much about not being a thief any more. Thieving is God's message to him. Let him try and be a good thief.
— Samuel Butler
The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
— George Bernard Shaw
The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
— H. L. Mencken
Successful crimes alone are justified.
— John Dryden
Stripped of ethical rationalizations and philosophical pretensions, a crime is anything that a group in power chooses to prohibit.
— Freda Adler
Funny Quotes about Crime: