Cute Funny Quotes

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
        — Anonymous

Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
        — Jay Leno

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
        — Alexander Woollcott

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.
        — Barry Goldwater

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
        — Will Rogers

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
        — Winnie the Pooh

If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance.
        — United Airlines Flight Safety Brochure

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
        — Abigail Van Buren

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
        — Unknown Author

Dressing a baby is like putting an octopus into a string bag, making sure none of the arms hang out.
        — Chris Evans