Funny Quotes about Death - Page 4

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I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day.
        —George Axlerod

I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
        —Woody Allen

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
        —Winston Churchill

He would make a lovely corpse.
        —Charles Dickens

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
        —Johnny Carson

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
        —Groucho Marx

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
        —John Barrymore

Die, my dear doctor! That's the last thing I shall do!
        —Lord Palmerston

Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down.
        —Dick Sharples

Quotes about Death: