Funny Quotes About Doctors

What medicines do not heal, the lance will; what the lance does not heal, fire will.
        — Hippocrates

Vaccination is the medical sacrament corresponding to baptism.
        — Samuel Butler

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
        — Joe E. Lewis

There are more old drunkards than old physicians.
        — Francois Rabelais (Gargantua)

The whole imposing edifice of modern medicine is like the celebrated tower of Pisa --slightly off balance.
        — Prince Charles

The practice of medicine is a thinker's art, the practice of surgery a plumber's.
        — Martin H. Fisher

The poets did well to conjoin music and medicine, because the office of medicine is but to tune the curious harp of man's body.
        — Francis Bacon

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.
        — Josh Billings

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
        — Jonathan Swift

The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find.
        — Denis Diderot