Famous Funny Quotes - Page 14

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
        — Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

If you are going through hell, keep going.
        — Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
        — J. Paul Getty (1892-1976)

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
        — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
        — Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
        — Carl Sagan

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
        — Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing

I'll moider da bum.
        — Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare

I'll sleep when I'm dead.
        — Warren Zevon (1947-2003)

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
        — Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)