Famous Funny Quotes - Page 3

Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
        — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
        — Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
        — Revelations 6:8

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
        — Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
        — John von Neumann (1903-1957)

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
        — Voltaire (1694-1778)

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
        — Richard Bach

Ask her to wait a moment-I am almost done.
        — Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying

Assassins!
        — Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
        — Plato (427-347 B.C.)