Famous Funny Quotes - Page 30

Why don't you write books people can read?
        — Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941)

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
        — Samuel Palmer (1805-80)

Wit is educated insolence.
        — Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

Woman was God's second mistake.
        — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
        — Sharon Stone

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
        — Al Capone (1899-1947)

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
        — Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
        — Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
        — Yogi Berra

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
        — Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.