Funny Quotes about Fathers

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When one has not had a good father, one must create one.
        — Friedrich Nietzsche

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed.
        — Lou Brock

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
        — Mark Twain

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow.
Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

        —Alexander Pope

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
        — Groucho Marx

Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life.
        — Samuel Butler

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
        — Bertrand Russell

The fundamental defect with fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.
        — Bertrand Russell

That is the thankless position of the father in the family -- the provider for all, and the enemy of all.
        — J. August Strindberg

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
        — Samuel Butler

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately
        — George Bernard Shaw

Funny Quotes about Fathers: