Funny Quotes about God - Page 3

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In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.
        —Mark Twain

Man - a figment of God's imagination.
        —Mark Twain

My dear child, you must believe in God despite what the clergy tell you.
        —Benjamin Jowett

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
        —Woody Allen

Nothing more clearly show how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other wordly goods, than the way he distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with them.
        —Jean De La Bruyere

Only God can make a truly random selection.
        —Levy's Ninth Law

Seemed to me that drumming was the best way to get close to God.
        —Lionel Hampton

We're all of us guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress.
        —Tennessee Williams

Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.
        —Erik Satie

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