Funny Love Quotations and Sayings

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.
        —Cher

I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.
        —Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
        —Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
        —Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise.
        —Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
        —Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
        —Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
        —George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
        —Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
        —Groucho Marx

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
        —Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you." And she never did.
        —James Fineous McBride

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
        —Joan Crawford

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.
        —Joan Rivers