Funny Quotes About Marriage

You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war.
        — Napolean Bonaparte

Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths
        — Anon

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.
        — W.C. Fields

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
        — Oscar Wilde

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
        — Rodney Dangerfield

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
        — Barbara Streisand

When you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but whether it's worth while, going through so much, to learn so little, as the charity-boy said when he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o taste.
        — Charles Dickens

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
        — George Bernard Shaw

"Marriage is the wastepaper basket of the emotions."
        — Leon Botstein

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."
        — Barnett Brickner