Funny Quotes About Men

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
        —Lana Turner

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
        —Roseanne Barr

A man in the house is worth two in the street.
        —Mae West

All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people.
        —Will Cuppy

Always suspect any job men willingly vacate for women.
        —Jill Tweedie

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her.
        —Agatha Christie

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
        —Helen Rowland

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
        —Maryon Pearson

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
        —Oscar Wilde

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.
        —Mae West