Funny Quotes about Men - Page 2

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
        —Will Rogers

Everyone knows that a man can always marry even if he reaches 102, is penniless, and has all his faculties gone. There is always some woman willing to take a chance on him.
        —Amy Vanderbilt

For everybody knows that it requires very little to satisfy the gentlemen, if a woman will only give her mind to it.
        —Margaret Oliphant

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
        —Lenny Bruce

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance.
        —James Thurber

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
        —Tracy Smith

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
        —Linda Ellerbee

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
        —Margaret Thatcher

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
        —Helen Rowland

Man has will, but woman has her way.
        —Oliver Wendell Holmes