Funny Quotes about Men - Page 5

What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?
        —Karen Blixen

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
        —Elayne Boosler

Whether women are better than men I cannot say—but I can say they are certainly no worse.
        —Golda Meir

Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
        —Kathy Lette

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
        —Kathy Lette

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men?
        —Barbra Streisand

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
        —Oscar Wilde

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
        —Tim Allen

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
        —Dave Attell

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
        —Erica Jong