Funny Quotes about Parents
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.
—Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
—Josh Billings
Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
—Joe Namath
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
—Samuel Butler
Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'
—Billy Connolly
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.
—Jack Nicholson
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
—Rodney Dangerfield
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
—Bob Hope
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
—Spike Milligan
Quotes about Parents: