Funny Quotes About People - Page 3

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
        —Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.
        —Jane Austen quotes (British Novelist and Writer, 1775-1817)

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
        —E. V. Lucas quotes (English Writer, 1868-1938)

If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.
        —William Shakespeare quotes (English Dramatist, Playwright and Poet, 1564-1616)

I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir.
        —David Bowie quotes (English Singer and Song Writer, b.1947)

In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people.
        —Judy Garland quotes

It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth.
        —Joseph Conrad quotes (English novelist, 1857-1924)

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider.
        —George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

Many of life's circumstances are created by three basic choices: the disciplines you choose to keep, the people you choose to be with; and, the laws you choose to obey.
        —Charles Millhuff quotes

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
        —Abraham Lincoln quotes (American 16th US President (1861-65), who brought about the emancipation of the slaves. 1809-1865)