Funny Quotes about Television

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on.
        —Steve Jobs

There are now more TV's in British households than there are people — which is a bit of a worry.
        —Prince Charles

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.
        —Jack Dee (on filming in Siberia, Mail On Sunday, 8 Dec 2002)

The only war we ever had was the time we ran out of Mr Kipling cakes.
        —Jimmy Perry (On claims of problems whilst filming Dad's Army)

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.
        —Richard Nixon

Television has raised writing to a new low.
        —Samuel Goldwyn

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
        —Alfred Hitchcock

On cable TV they have a weather channel — 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
        —Dan Spencer

NBC — no body cares.
        —Jay Leno

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
        —Peter De Vries

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel."
        —Anonymous

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what a tough week for the network. First, the false documents on President Bush's National Guard record and now this. CBS says they have learned their lesson: no more trying to expose boobs.
        —Bill Maher

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
        —Marty Feldman

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
        —Groucho Marx