Short Funny Quotes - Page 22

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
        — John Peel

I never know how much of what I say is true.
        — Bette Middler

I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
        — Benjamin Disraeli

I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane.
        — Waylon Jennings

I married beneath me. All women do.
        — Lady Nancy Astor

I keep reading between the lies.
        — Goodman Ace

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
        — Bill Hoest

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
        — Sam Kinison

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money.
        — Marlon Brando

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
        — Joe E. Lewis

Words of Wisdom:

• When we make a choice and not do, this is already a choice.
• One is master of the slave who is silent and you talk.
• Half the world has something to say but can not the other half has nothing to say, but not silent.
• What is worth making is worthy to be done well.
• The heart of man needs to believe something and believe lies when truth is not to believe.
• Every man pays his greatness with many little things, his victory with many defeats, its wealth with multiple bankruptcies.
• Who really knows what he's talking, no reason to raise his voice.
• No man is an island, entire in itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of a set.
• Forgiving too the evildoer is committed injustice with no misses.
• Always forgive your enemies. There is nothing to annoy him more.